A Letter to My Unborn Child
by Katie Coombs
Well little one, we have done all we can do to give you a chance to be here. Your dad is almost 41 years old and I am 42, and you already have six siblings that want to love you and show you the world. You have three brothers and three sisters and even two dogs and two cats. It’s a house full of laughter and sometimes tears, but so much love. The idea of you is how the word love gets defined in the first place. You will never truly understand how hard your dad and I have fought to make you a reality in our world. We have wanted you for many years and there were so many things that kept us from having the guts to get you here. We know we already have six children but we wanted you. We are already a family but you will make us something even more.
It’s not just this house that wants you. Your Grandma wants to hold you. She already has 10 grandchildren but she wants 11. She is the kindest woman you will ever meet and she will cheer you on your whole life. Grandpa is the most tender man you will ever know and by the time you are two he will have taught you about every tree and flower and plant in the garden. He will touch your soul like he touched mine when he married my mom when I was only 15. Auntie Kristy will try to hold you more than I will. That’s her way. Everyone that knows her is lucky to have met her. Uncle Kevin and Aunt Kristin will make you laugh every time they are around. This is a fun place, kiddo, and you will laugh just as much as you will cry. You will be loved in a way that gives you a chance to reach your full potential someday.
You have to be a fighter now if you want to be born. I’ve taken almost 50 shots and dealt with so many ups and downs the last couple of months preparing for your big day. Well, Monday is your big day! As it stands, you are 1 of 10 eggs that are currently waiting to come out. On Monday, with all of the love that can come from a laboratory, you will be fertilized and become our child. It’s not traditional and it’s not the way I would have liked to conceive you, but it’s all I can do with what I have left.
I want you to survive for more than one day or three days or five days. I want you to become more than just an embryo. You need to divide and conquer. You need to grow and keep growing. If you can do that, then one of my dear friends is going to give you a shot at life. She is going to carry you the rest of the way so that you can be born and come home. You will have to hold on for dear life in a few weeks from now and grow strong and healthy. I know you can do this because you belong to me.
I’m a fighter little one, in a way that most people can’t fight. I was born into sadness. My mom lost her dad when she was six months pregnant with me. I felt that and I think it shaped me from the start. I had a hard time growing and remained on the failure to thrive charts for years but my soul always thrived. I set out to do things that couldn’t be done when I was so little. I hit home-runs and shot three point shots. I was fast and smart and refused to get anything but A’s from the 6th grade on (except for that one B in Geography freshman year of college). My own parents had a very difficult divorce when I was 11 but I didn’t let it change my life. I lost my Dad at that young age. He just went away and never really returned. He actually died just a few months ago and that final goodbye made me want you even more. You won’t suffer any losses like that in this family. ou will be loved to the depths of your soul. You should already be able to feel that as you are still a part of me now.
Your oldest brother Drew keeps checking on you every day. He will be 19 when you arrive and is already in college but even he wants to love you. He has had a really hard year and is also a fighter. You need to borrow some of his strength right now so you can overcome the odds. He had to give up on his life dream this year with a surgery that ended his baseball career. He did that with grace and maturity and let one door close while another opened. A few weeks later he graduated and then had a horrible car accident that he knows he was lucky to survive. Standing in the trauma room that night watching him hold himself together made me want you even more. I raise fighters little one. It’s already in your blood and I can see it everywhere.
Your oldest sister Kenzie has overcome two difficult surgeries on her collarbone and never gave up on her dream of cheerleading. Most people would have quit. She didn’t. She made Varsity as a Sophomore overcoming all of the odds. She is a mother-hen and will love you more than you can stand. She is so tender and sweet and still so innocent. I know you want to meet her.
Your next brother is Austin. He is an amazing athlete and will teach you every sport that exists. You will be amazed by his hard work and dedication. He also really likes to be with his family and he asks me about you every day. Now you should know he wants you to be a boy, but don’t let that worry you. Girl or boy, he is going to spend incredible amounts of time with you.
Your next sister is Hannah. She fought so hard to be on this earth which is another reason I know you can do it. They told me to terminate her pregnancy at 16 weeks because I was having a heart problem. I refused to quit and so did she. We got her all the way to 31 weeks and she fought hard. She amazed every doctor in the NICU with her strength and fight for life. If she can do it, so can you. Hannah is already my little miracle and just wait until you meet her. She is strong and confident and has already said you are going to be a famous basketball player. She is going to teach you how to fight and thrive when the odds are against you. People call her my mini-me.
Your youngest brother is Cam. He is so funny and so great to be around. You will enjoy his sense of humor and his overall relaxed demeanor. He is very cuddly and will read to you every day. People call Cam, the mini-me of your dad. So I guess we both already have one so I can’t wait to see where you fit in.
Your youngest sister is Abby. She is incredibly sweet and an amazing artist. She will spend hours coloring and painting with you. She will play every card game you can imagine with you. She doesn’t want to be the youngest anymore so she is praying you get here soon!
Nobody knows your Dad like I do. He is a fighter too. He has spent most of the last 10 years fighting to become the person that he always wanted to be. He had hurdles to overcome and never stopped fighting. He wants this experience right now as he feels he has so much to offer you. He has been talking to you and has come to all of the appointments to see if you are developing. He gets very emotional after each one as he wants this miracle in his life. He wants our love to forever bless this earth. He is funny too. Prepare yourself for lots of laughing.
I’ve done all I can now so I have to leave the rest up to you. You have to overcome odds just like so many members of your family have just to be here. I am praying for you and hope that you can feel my love right now. You need to believe in miracles just like I do. If for some reason you aren’t one of the eggs I am carrying right now, we will find you. You are out there somewhere and it will all work out. Wherever you are right now, I hope you know that there is so much to look forward to. I can’t wait for you to experience your first Christmas with our amazing family. There are so many kids and they all love each other. You have nieces and nephews that will guide you along your journey too. I started out with the first grandchild and I think I am supposed to end with the last. That is you. We already have named you with lots of careful consideration. I can’t wait to call you that name when I first see you. Fight hard. There is a beautiful life waiting for you.